'The search of a Muse' / Salamandara

Salamandara’s ‘The search of a muse’ is a self-portraiture series, exploring the nuanced relationship of the Artist as Muse.

By placing herself as the focus for this project, introspective navigation takes place.  Salamandara expresses the very layered nature of identity in a constant state of forming and self-defining. Through self-documentation, she captures the ephemeral nature of the ever-evolving Self-journey. 

Salamandara gazes at the viewer as she presents herself in her mother’s traditional clothing, a representation of her Cameroonian culture. A power in vulnerability is expressed, in allowing oneself to be seen in a place of intimacy whilst being watched back. In claiming this metaphorical space, she invites the viewer into her world, almost as a prompt for us to then delve into our own. 

The use of collage and polaroid creates a simple honesty, playing on a sweet nostalgia and a ‘grass-roots’ display of her story. In doing so, the artist acknowledges these themes with a loving embrace, conveyed through the entangling of the Visual and written language. French poetry by Baudelair and Apollinair are weaved throughout the self-portraits with film negatives of her hometown & family. Here the conversation between the mediums is manifested, the dialogue continuing on with the viewer. 

In this interview, Salamandara speaks on her creative process for this series, the exploration of her own identity, and the importance of self-love.

How did this project start? 

‘The search of a muse’ was a part of a few other projects that I started during the lockdown. It was a way for me to avoid boredom, and keep my creativity up. 

It was the last project that I did at the end of July, and I originally wanted it to be about my family. 

Since I knew that I was gonna travel back to England soon (for my studies), I wanted this last project to be a sort of nostalgic photographic series about my hometown and family. However, what happened was that all the pictures that I took on my film camera ended up being messed up.

I must have made a mistake while loading my film. So when I went to develop them, I got told that all the 24 pictures were on top of one another. 

I started playing around with the ruined film and thought of ways to use it in a creative way. I was also inspired by seeing my mother’s traditional clothes in her closet.

Do you often use these approaches and mediums when creating your art pieces?

To be honest this work was kind of experimental. It was my first time using rolls of films and poems. But I really enjoy photography, and the use of language.

What draws you to the theme of identity and
personal exploration? 

I don’t really know, I guess they’re just themes that we’re all more comfortable with. And I prefer to explore things that speak to me on a personal level. Also, I find it kind of therapeutic.

When did you start this self-documentation journey?

I’ve always been interested in works that were related to self-discovery, or the understanding of oneself, but I would never represent myself. So it all started during the lockdown; using other people as my artistic subjects is something I have always done. It might seem harmless because I like to gain inspiration from the people I surround myself with. 

But I think the other reason was because I had this discomfort whenever it came to me being seen as the centre of attention. So I would always ask my sister or anyone who would be willing to be in my projects. But having spent so much time at home, I decided to step out of my comfort zone and learn to stop hiding.

I’m interested in your weaved use of literature and film throughout the series, why did you choose this approach?

I wanted my work to have 2 forms of languages: visual and written; almost as if they were conversing with each other. The poems are all either focused on love, beauty, or the impact of the muse in the life of the poet, whether it’s positive or negative.

By putting myself in the shoes of both the poet and the muse, and representing the complexity of their relationship, I’m also showing a glimpse of my own struggles concerning the acceptance of myself. The reason why I chose Baudelaire is because he has a way of saying and describing things that I personally like. And concerning Apollinaire, I just really like his poems.

The work you’ve created has quite an intimate analogue nature, how do you go about sharing these works? Do you prefer analogue photography or digital?

I’m actually just starting to be more at ease with my practice and sharing what I do. I’d say that I prefer analogue photography. I really enjoy the idea of not knowing how your pictures are gonna turn out.

I find that creating artwork helps me acknowledge parts of who I am or how I feel. Do you find creating artworks is a form of therapy? 

 Absolutely! I’m also naturally a very shy and introverted person, but when I’m in that creative mode, I get a certain confidence boost that allows me to do and say things that I maybe wouldn’t normally. 

I look at the significance of wearing your mother’s traditional clothing. I’d like to hear your input on the use of these pieces throughout the series.

Yes, it was a way for me to show a connection to my roots. Growing up in France, I’ve had my moments of embarrassments concerning my culture, skin, hair…and it’s something that has definitely affected my overall confidence as a kid. These are parts of my identity that I’m very proud of today, and so I had to include them.

What does self-love mean to you?

I don’t want to sound cliché, but I really see it as the best love. The way you treat yourself really sets a standard for other people. Plus why should you put up with anyone’s bs? I think having a real sense of love for yourself, in any relationship, is important. 

In the exploration of your identity, and the practice of self-love, did you find that a kindling or connection with your heritage was important in this continuous journey of self-exploration and love? 

 Yes definitely, I think learning more about my culture and surrounding myself with people that looked more like me helped a lot. I used to live in a predominantly white area for 3 years in middle school (a school which was also predominantly white), and I think the lack of connection between me and my environment made it a bit hard for me to fully grow. But when I moved to a more diverse city, I really got the opportunity to connect with more black people and therefore it made me want to learn more about myself and culture. 

What have you taken from this series?

[In my case] that stepping out of your comfort zone, makes you discover things about yourself and allows you to produce better work.

Words and interview by Nadia Cao

Image credits: Salamandara